Shadow Work: What It Is, What It Isn't, and How to Go Deeper
Updated: 14 hours ago
Shadow work is everywhere right now: journals, prompt lists, 30-day challenges. There's a reason it resonates. Most of us carry parts of ourselves we learned to keep out of sight, and some part of us knows it.
But shadow work is often misunderstood. Here's what it actually is, what it isn't, and how to go deeper than a journal prompt.
What shadow work actually is
The idea of the "shadow" comes from psychiatrist Carl Jung. It describes the parts of ourselves we pushed out of awareness because, at some point, they didn't feel safe or acceptable: anger, need, sadness, ambition, even joy.
Those messages are often absorbed early. Be good. Don't be too much. Don't need anything. We adapt, and the hidden parts don't disappear. They show up sideways.
What it isn't
It isn't dwelling on your "dark side"
It isn't blaming yourself for old wounds
It isn't a challenge you finish in 30 days
It isn't about fixing what's "wrong" with you
At its core, shadow work is about acceptance: meeting the hidden parts of you with curiosity instead of judgment.
Why acceptance matters
Research supports this. In studies of more than 1,300 adults, people who habitually accepted their difficult emotions and thoughts, rather than judging them, reported better psychological health, including fewer symptoms of depression and anxiety (Ford et al., 2018). Judging our inner experience tends to add a second layer of distress on top of the first.
Signs your shadow may be running the show
You react strongly to things that seem small
Certain traits in other people irritate you more than they should
You say yes when you mean no
You feel like you're "too much" or "not enough"
You repeat the same pattern in relationships, even when you see it coming
Where journaling stops
Prompts can bring real insight. But the beliefs underneath our patterns usually live deeper than conscious thought, which is why understanding a pattern doesn't always change it.
That's where the Subconscious Dialogue Method™ (SDM™) comes in. SDM draws on parts work and shadow work to bring those early beliefs to the surface, where they can be examined and separated from who you truly are.
A simple place to start
Try this question, and notice what comes up without judging it:
What part of me did I learn to hide in order to feel safe or loved?
Whatever you notice is information, not a verdict.
Ready to go deeper?
If you're ready to move past insight and into real change, I'd be glad to talk. Book a free consult to see if working together is a good fit. Sessions are available in person in Alpharetta and virtually.
Maritza Dyer, LMFT, is the founder of Watermark Wellness in Alpharetta, Georgia, and the creator of the Subconscious Dialogue Method™.
Sources
Ford, B. Q., Lam, P., John, O. P., & Mauss, I. B. (2018). The psychological health benefits of accepting negative emotions and thoughts: Laboratory, diary, and longitudinal evidence. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 115(6), 1075–1092. Read the study
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